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Dear Allah,
I pray to you, but you never answer back.
I hope you know you're the compensation of my lack
of ability to think and use my brain.
Hey Allah, they all say I'm insane;
I destroy a couple of statues, and anger fills the world.
Where were those losers when I brainwashed my boys and terrorized my
girls?
I won't listen to them, 'cause they're really not worth it.
They'll burn in hell forever, and they deserve it.
What a bunch of hypocrites! They also say I'm cold,
but Allah, I just do what I'm being told
by you, meiner Führer, my Antichrist Superstar!
Their God's just jealous of how loyal we are!
His dolls are unfaithful, while your dolls wage war
against females and foreskins, and for Sharia law.
(Sharia = the islamic law)
See Allah, you gotta answer me, mate!
I'm male, misanthropic, beard-growing and straight.
And I blame my problems on Salman Rushdie.
So those are five reasons for you to respect me.
Okay, have to go now; my next prayer's at noon.
I'll be waiting for you, hope to hear from you soon.
Truly yours, your servant, and your biggest fan,
from South Central Asia, this is Afghani-Stan.
(To be continued, hopefully...)